COVID Chronicles: Chapter 7 of 7 … Declutter With Me

“Collect moments, not things!”

Happy Sunday friends & welcome to Chapter SEVEN of the COVID Chronicles! We did it friends, 7 posts in 7 days!! I hope you’ve all enjoyed yourselves as much as I have! 

I’m ending this little series with a bang! So grab yourself a drink (I’ll wait if you’re going to whip yourself up a Dalgona coffee) and get comfy, because this one’s a doozy (well at least it was for me haha).

Now, some people collect sports memorabilia, books, designer bags, cars and even those Swarovski crystal figurines. Me? I hoard, I mean collect lip products. Balms, glosses, plumpers, lipstick. You name it, I want it and there’s a good chance I already have it.  I clearly have an obsession (or sickness, I’ll leave that for you to decide). 

Last August, for fun (yes that’s right, I’m THAT wild) I decided to take inventory of my beloved lip stash. Several hours later, this is what I discovered….

I’ll be honest, that number left me kinda devastated. I mean, I would have to have been blind not to realize that I had lip products coming outta my yin-yang. And at 254 total, dare I say that I may have had more lip products than some women have in their entire lives. So yes, I acknowledged that I had a problem & I needed to get things under control. I decided to put down the debit card and start #shoppingmystash (who would have thought to actually USE the products that they had). 

Out of this revelation, my #nobuy was born and sadly lasted…2 days. NYX launched their new lip plumping glosses and I just HAD to have them, I mean I owed it to my lips to try it. So I bought 2 of those new glosses (clear + glittery nude), so SUE ME! It was a momentarily lapse in judgement I’ll admit, however I don’t regret buying those magical glosses for a second, because they were lovely and I’ve actually used one of them up! So HA! 

One relapse down, and I was finally on track with my #nobuy / #shopmystash situation. Ask anyone that knows me, I was avoiding all of the Sephoras like the plague because I didn’t want to be tempted. I was actually SO determined to make my way through my stash and be left with half of what I started with. I sound pretty determined right? Did I convince you that I was actually going to stick to it? Perfect, because I didn’t!

Sure, a couple months went by where I didn’t buy a single lip product. My problem, I’ve realized that I reward good behaviour with…lipsticks! 

ENTER THE QUARANTINE OF 2020

As I’ve mentioned in this week’s posts, my online shopping has been borderline out of control. I don’t know if it’s been a way of regaining some of the control that I feel like I’ve lost in all this craziness or what. While some people stress eat (although we all know I’ve been doing that too) perhaps lip products are some weird security blanket that I want to be surrounded by to make myself feel better? I mean, within an hour of starting to work from home I was already clicking “add to cart” on 3 new lip glosses. Perhaps I need to seek the professional advice of a therapist on this one. 

With the arrival of several new lip products over the last few weeks, I figured maybe now was the perfect time to take another little audit of my stash. When I say you should probably sit down for this, I mean it, sit down. And please try not to judge me, because trust me when I say I’m judging myself enough for the both of us! 

Now friends, what I’m about to show you might shock you and so for that reason, VIEWER DISCRETION is STRONGLY advised …

Anyone else feel sick? No, just me?! 

UGHHHH yes that’s right, in the midst of actually using up some products, I’ve also managed to almost double my stash. Anyone know of a good L.A.A (lip addicts anonymous) group that I can attend, because my name is Ashley and YES I have a problem! And let’s not even bother talking about what those 414 products translate into dollars and cents. Because I’ve done the math…and I’m not impressed. 

I would also like to point out that as someone who HATES liquid lipsticks, how the heck do I have 72 of them? Je suis TRES confused! 

Anyways, after the shock of this wore off + I had time to process the horror that is my lip collection, I decided now was the time to…declutter. Ugh the very thought of it makes me feel light headed (yes I’m being dramatic, I’m aware haha). I even tried to delay this heinous process by coming up with a very specific list of guidelines where in which I could justify throwing out or giving away MY precious lip products. 

I would agree (against my better judgement) to discard a lip product that…

1) Was expired (because let’s be real, that’s kinda gross) 

2) I hadn’t used in the last few months 

3) I was holding onto for the memories I was associating with it (because that’s just weird)

My goal out of all of this was, at the very least, to be able to get my whole stash to be able to fit in my 5 storey plexiglass makeup storage container. Up until now, all 5 levels have been overflowing and I have several large makeup bags full of lip products surrounding it. Literally, everywhere you look there were lip products. 

And so, with all 414 lippies laid out in front of me, I made my way through each & every one. Okay, I can practically hear the eye rolls right about now. I know it’s crazy that I have SO many lip products, I get it. And I’m sure it’s even more bizarre to read that someone’s become SO attached to these little tubes of colour, trust me, I’m not exactly sure how I’ve gotten to this moment either. Like I said, it may be worth consulting a therapist about this haha. 

But tell me, am I the only one that associates memories to inanimate objects? Like I can’t throw out that shirt because the last time I wore it was … Yeah that’s right, I’m not the only weird one! haha  

Anyways, after a couple of hours, I had completed my first ever purge. I’ll tell ya, The Purge is one of my favourite movies + during my own version of it, I realized that I would have much rather been IN the movie than do this again (haha). 

SPOILER ALERT: You’re not going to hear me say that I’ve thrown away 399 lip products + now I’m left with the most perfect little stash of 15. Nope, that my friends did not happen. I tried SO hard to get rid of at least half of them, but I couldn’t. 

Anyways, I AM proud to announce that I have officially parted ways with 127 balms, glosses, lipsticks, plumpers + a whole lotta liquid lipsticks. So if my math is correct, that leaves me with 287 products in my lip collection! And you know what, in my mind that’s a great place to start (#babysteps). 

So, what am I doing with the 127 ones I’ve deemed misfits? Some of them have gone straight in the trash (because I don’t need to keep expired ones) + another pile of gorgeous lippies are being transferred (as we speak) to a loving home!  The following 6 in particular are ones that are either 1) still in their packaging (NYX) or 2) have been removed from their packaging but have never been used (ABH and FENTY)! 

In case you’re curious, here are a few of the ones that I’ve decided to part ways with: 

1) Tanya Burr Cosmetics 

Anyone else remember when British content creator Tanya Burr became a YouTube sensation + launched her own little makeup line?! 25 year old Ashley NEEDED that in her life. I just so happened to be planning a trip to England and there was no way I was coming back to Canada without one of these glosses. In the week I was in London, I had practically gone through every Boots + London Drug. Finally, after coming to terms with the fact I was never going to find one, there it sat on an unlikely shelf, the Tanya Burr advent calendar! These glosses were not my favourite but I held onto them…for the memories. While I’m pitching 2 of them, I am holding onto 1 (in due time friends, in due time). 

2) Nude by Nature 

This Australian brand came to Canada maybe 3 years ago so when I first saw it in Shoppers, I just had to try a few of their lip products. Made with 100% natural ingredients AND they’re cruelty free…on paper this brand checks all of my boxes. Sadly for me, it was a short lived love affair with Nude by Nature. These two lipsticks weren’t comfortable on the lips and with all natural ingredients, they also expired much quicker than regular lipsticks. So it’s about time I toss these, and I’ll admit, I’m not upset about it. 

3) YSL 

Now this one kind of hurts my heart to part with as it was one of my first high end splurges….probably 5 years ago. At $50 CAD, these glossy lip stains were 10000% not worth the hefty price tag but I felt like I owed it to the YSL gods to keep. Even though there’s still more than half of the product still left, it’s long since expired. So goodbye Yves Saint Laurent glossy lip stain, rest in peace. 

4) Lise Watier 

This is another one I’m blaming on @AllanaDavison. When I heard that they had the word “Fondant” in the name, I mean how could I not try these. I was imagining the most creamy, cake scented lipstick, that sadly was wishful thinking. I bought the most nude shade in the range and was kind of confused when I got it home and realized it was named “Jennifer”. I don’t know about you but I’m still struggling to make the connection between fondant and the woman’s name. Annnyways, these lipsticks disappointed in every possible way. They had a rather strong, florally scent (again, nothing to do with fondant) and they were thick and streaky. So, good day to you Lise Watier, good day! 

5) FENTY Beauty 

UGHH…is all I can say about this balm from FENTY beauty. These Pro Kiss’ Luscious Lip Balm are SUPPOSED to be a creamy, moisture-lock lip balm that smooths, softens, and preps for luscious, kiss-worthy lips that last (at least that’s what the website promised). Instead, one greasy slick on the lips and I could not get it off fast enough. Ladies, have you ever tried a lip product that actually leaves a weird taste in your mouth and kind of hurts your throat? This one does that and I’m not about that kinda life. UGHH!!!!

6) L’Occitane

Yup, this was another @AllanaDavison recommendation + I’m not sure if I just got a defective one or not, because I HATE this. As I watched her swipe this bright yellow tube across her lips, my heart practically stopped. It was so gorgeous on her and it made her lips look SO juicy that of course I needed it. I made quite the trek to track this one down and I was left feeling highly unimpressed. It’s streaky and greasy and I’m not a fan. 

7) SOL Janeiro 

Oh my gosh have you ever tried the SOL Janeiro Bum Bum cream? If you have then you’ll know why I picked up this balm. Their creams smell SO incredible so I assumed that this balm would be the same. While it did in fact smell incredible, I don’t like anything else about using this giant, glue stick sized balm. Just like the FENTY balm, it gives my throat this really weird feeling and I don’t like it. 

Positive Patty’s coming out to play right now friends because I’m (semi) happy this little declutter has happened for the following reasons:

1) My makeup stash, while still a tad out of control, is 127 lip products lighter!

2) This little declutter has made me realize how quickly my spending can get out of control and now I’ll be more mindful!

3) I’ve made a promise with myself to not buy a new lippie until I’ve finished one! 

4) I’ve finally realized that lipstick does NOT (and cannot) buy happiness! If it did, I’d be THE happiest gal in the world. So once I’ve figured that out I’ll be sure to let ya know. 

5) Instead of just throwing them all out, I can share the unused ones with friends who may not have purchased them on their own (#sharingiscaring). 

6) Now ALL of my lip products fit in my makeup storage container!!! 

So see, this wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be! 

Just kidding I hated every minute of it + hope to never have to do it again haha. 

Thankfully I don’t seem to hoard any other types of makeup, so I shouldn’t have to endure this kinda pain again (well at least not any time soon). 

And there you have it friends! Do you have a growing collection of something that’s maybe getting a tad ridiculous? 

Thank you SO much for sticking with me during this fun little series I’ve called the COVID Chronicles. Let me know if you’ve enjoyed it + would want me to do something like this again in the future! 

Stay safe friends, 

   xo 

P.S. Now before you go, make sure to keep checking back here (AND on my Instagram @lipstickandbubbly) because I’m going to be doing a little giveaway! More on that soon!

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